compulsive behavior

Taking a moment for my unemployed, present-day life:

I am walking down the street, my latest job application having been turned in, soy latte in hand, and Stevie Wonder in my ears, when I am seized by desire to do something completely reckless. 

Reckless, NOT self destructive...at least not in the middle of the day....

So after seconds of careful thought, I duck into the nearest salon and have them cut off all my hair. Now for those of you that know me well, this was the epitome of compulsive behavior. I can't help but thinking whether or not I have lost my mind as I watch the inches fall to the ground. 

Fortunately, these thoughts are quickly replaced by the fact that hair does grow back.

This helps ease the initial anxiety, I take a few deep breaths and finally return to a calm state of mind. I think this is the quietest I have ever been in a salon. I am grateful the stylist does not know me well enough to see this as a problem. 

As I watch her work, I begin to realize that I may actually like myself with short hair. By the time I pay the girl and walk back to my truck with the last dregs of my latte to keep me company, I can't help but run my fingers through the haircut with a grin. I must admit that this is one of the first times an uncontrollable act has left me not regretting my decision.

What I never expected was to figure out a life-lesson from being unemployed. It has only been a week, after all, but the violent fits of desperation have already started haunting me. 


I know I am being dramatic.

What I was able to reconcile is that not all good change has to be a carefully thought out process. Thinking too much can sometimes do more harm than good and acting on impulse is ok, as long as we exercise caution. 

Hard to believe I got all of that from a haircut...